. . . and they lived snappily ever after . . .

Where I'll Be Tonight

Burlesque Poetry Hour: Mairead, Jordan and Alison

This Week at No Tell

Kristin Kelly asks for a something good to say this week at No Tell Motel.

NaPoWriMo Update

One more day to go -- I'm heartened that I stuck it through. Apparently I can do anything I put my mind to -- except write my name in the snow.

The poems/drafts will stay up here until May 1 -- then they go bye bye. Well, not really bye bye, they just won't be here anymore. Maybe you'll see some future/edited versions elsewhere. If you do, you can brag to all your friends how you read them when.

Where I'll Be This Afternoon

The Mount Vernon Poetry Festival -- I'm one of the judges and I'll be giving a 10 minute reading. What a lucky day for undergraduate poets from Washington-area colleges and universities!

Oh, and btw, everything I do in life is complete, utter bullshit. But you knew that already, didn't you?

Submission Call from Don Illich

If Poetry Journal Seeking Submissions

Hi, I'm starting a new print poetry journal (actually it's zine sized). I'm looking for submissions of poetry until July 31st, 2007. I plan on publishing the journal by early December 2007 (maybe earlier I hope). What I'm looking for: Here are some writers I love: Tony Hoagland, Dean Young, Jennifer Knox, Denise Duhamel, Ben Lerner, Kim Addonizio, Bob Hicok. I like humorous and surrealistic poetry, but with some heart and weight to it. I'm open to good formal poetry, as well as free verse. I want poems with exciting ideas more than another perfectly crafted poem that just lies there dead on the page.

If you would like to submit 1-5 poems, please e-mail me at ifpoetryjournaleditor at gmail dot com. No attachments, please put your poems in the body of your e-mail. Basic cover letter preferred. No previously published poems. I'm aiming for 34 pages total for the journal, maybe 48 if I can afford it. Each contributor will receive one contributor's copy and be subject to the envy of all their peers. There are no subscriptions as yet, as I don't know how often the journal will come out; I plan on distributing the journal at readings, through Internet requests, and to libraries, MFA programs, etc. The journal should, at least as far as basic design goes, look like this (with different cover art, of course): http://www.blehert.com/TheFederalPoets/Federal_Poet_Fall2006.pdf.
Thank you in advance for submitting work, if that's what you choose to do.

Never Cry Woof Available at Online Retailers

For those of you who prefer to do your book shopping at online retailers, Shafer Hall's Never Cry Woof is available there now too (of course we prefer you purchase from Lulu since we get a considerably bigger royalty -- distribution and retailer cuts are substantial).

But hey, you're the customer and you're always right -- and in the end we're thrilled and grateful that you purchased it!

Amazon
B&N
Powells

The Concher #1 Ready for Pre-Order

Brent Armendinger ::: Adam Clay ::: Phillip Crymble ::: Darcie Dennigan ::: Ray Hsu ::: Tung-Hui Hu ::: Rebecca Loudon ::: Reb Livingston ::: Marc McKee ::: Kathleen Rooney & Elisa Gabbert ::: Craig Morgan Teicher ::: Samuel Wharton ::: Sarah Wolfson

Truffles: Espresso Caramel, Classic Ganache with Cacao Nibs, Pomegranate Ganache with Almond Marzipan, Coconut Curry Ganache, Whiskey Ganache, Orange White Chocolate Ganache with Hazelnuts

Order Now -- these don't last long

Grubby Hand Update

Bone Pagoda by Susan Tichy (Ahsahta Press)

Giscombe Road (Dalkey Archive)

Key Bridge by Ken Rumble (Carolina Wren Press)

The Second Person by C. Dale Young (Fourway Books)

The Ohio System by Jen Tynes & Erika Howsare (Octopus Books)

Asterisk (1 & 2) (Fewer & Further Press, 2007)

The Way Birds Become by Joseph Bradshaw (Weather Press)

coming down in white by Lori Shine (Pilot Books)

Free by Amanda Laughtland
Teen Tiny (December 2006, Issue #9)

Small Kingdom by Sandra Beasley (Big Game Books)
Untitles by Lauren Bender (Big Game Books)
Voice Notes 5" fox + three daughters by Adam Golaski (Big Game Books)
Clone School by Joanna Fuhrman (Big Game Books)
Much Like You Shark by Logan Ryan Smith (Big Game Books)

Next Week at Burlesque

Mairéad Byrne, Jordan Davis and Alison Stine

This Week at No Tell

Ann M. Fine is infamous for being unknown and unknowable this week at No Tell Motel.

New Coconut

Take a Coconut break!! Coconut 8, featuring wonderful new poems by Amy Gerstler, Melissa Koosmann, Rodrigo Toscano, Sara Veglahn, Max Winter, Julia Cohen, Donald Illich, Jill Alexander Essbaum, Denise Duhamel, Kate Schapira, Ray Succre, Anne Heide, Kaya Oakes, Sandy Florian, Sandra Beasley, Nick Carbo, Becca Klaver, PF Potvin, Dawn Pendergast, Ken Rumble, Eddie Watkins, and Amy King is now live at http://www.coconutpoetry.org.

The Pirooz Kalayeh Reb Exposé

This month's blogging has mostly been NaPoWriMo, but don't be concerned, I haven't stopped talking about myself (as if I was capable of such a thing) -- I've been me me me-ing elsewhere.

Behold my flipping off the world -- chopped full of fresh poet rage!

Read Pirooz's interview with me

And check out this fab video Pirooz created -- all I gave him was an audio of my poem "Uncommmon Concubine" and look what he was able to do with it -- that poem is sure to get a man now. Thank you Pirooz!

review copies

I'll be sending out review copies for Shafer Hall's Never Cry Woof in the next week or so. If you're interested in reviewing his book (or another NTB title), please backchannel. Serious inquiries only please.

[on second thought snip]

too strong and personal emotions -- unclear lending itself to misunderstanding.

This Week at No Tell

Theresa Sotto is gadget-full and many-textured this week at No Tell Motel.

Mr. Rumble Goes to Washington

We went to the Ken Rumble reading at the Pyramid Atlantic this evening. Now this was a Ken Rumble reading and we ate Mexican beforehand, so I needed to freshen my normally so-sweet breath. At the nearby Safeway I picked up a tiny tin of Altoids and pulled a dollar out of my wallet. See, I'm such an old lady I thought I could buy mints for a dollar. Not even close: $2.40.

Kaplan and Mel introduce the readers.




"Look into my eyes and buy my book, said the author of Key Bridge"


Susan Tichy, C.S. Giscombe and Ken Rumble


Another romantic Saturday night poetry reading.

There Will Always Be the Internet

Yeah, that's what they said about the steel mills.

Great, one more thing to look forward to in middle age. Unemployed Chris with outdated, useless job skills mopping around the house, reading and quoting from the bible all day long, driving me nuts while he waits for them to bring back the Internet. Guess that's when I'll get my nursing degree so Gideon can still have Christmas.

I've already seen this scenerio play out. God damn it, nothing is forever.

I know very little about what happened with this so I won't comment in detail on it.

But I do want to point out, for those who may not realize, a text, be it an interview, poem, blog entry, whatever, will almost certainly find more readers online than in print. No Tell Motel receives more unique visitors in a day than there are currently copies of the first Bedside Guide to No Tell Motel in existence (approx. 400 and that includes galleys, contributor copies and the 30 or so in my home -- since this title is POD, this number will change). No Tell Motel receives more unique visitors by noon on any weekday than copies sold over an entire year. And this isn't just a case of it being available for free online, less than half the poems in the anthology are reprints -- over half are new, never been published poems.

The printed product does not bring publicity for the online product -- quite the contrary.


Addendum: The above isn't meant to imply online is "better" than print -- but to suggest that if one is worried about "all the people" who will read something in print format after it's been available online for a couple years -- well, it's kind of too late.

This Week at No Tell Motel

Donald Illich reveals mortal enemies ready to pull him apart this week at No Tell Motel.

Contemplating Jesus

How I Spent My Anniversary

On the shuttle to our airline gate we bumped into a woman we used to know in college along with her husband. We were all on the same flight to Austin -- to get to the blessed Brent event. Did the usual catch-up and gossip people do when they haven't seen each other in a decade or so, it wasn't long before she said "hey, I think I have a picture of your breasts somewhere!"

I always wondered where that picture went. Now I'm very curious. I'm like 95% sure I was wearing a bra.

For my younger readers, I suggest you take a picture of your breasts during your early 20's and tuck it away some place safe so you can use it as a measure as you get older. It'll also be really funny to your older self to be given the opportunity to make fun of your younger self for thinking you were fat then. Do your older self that favor.

We had dinner with one-time loverboy Marcus and his wife. We discussed what all parents discuss during dinner: potty training. It was the same restaurant a bunch of us ate at before last year's AWP LIT/Redivider/Kitchen Press reading. The only conversation I remember from that meal was Laurel's hilarious anal sex jokes. How quickly times change. Oh wait, Laurel and I both were mothers last year, must be a poet thing . . .

Anyhow, after our meal we went to the blessed Brent pre-wedding gathering. Jill Alexander Essbaum gave us chocolate body oil for our anniversary -- as if Ms. Essbaum! I don't know how many times I had to remind her "I'm somebody's mother now!"

This is the man I married 11 years ago yesterday -- as you can tell by the glasses, we were meant to be together.


This is the man I once thought I would marry -- and the woman he did marry.


This is me begging Brent to reconsider and run away with me -- it's cool, Chris is very understanding like that.


This is Jill trying to convince me to go to a strip club -- as if Ms. Essbaum!

Oh, Chris and I will be in transit tomorrow during our 11th wedding anniversary. The gift for 11 is steel.

Shhhh, don't spoil his surprise!

I'm trying to get NaPoMoWri ahead because we're going to Austin this weekend for a wedding. I'll try to write while I'm out there, but who knows if I'll be able. Those of you who attended the AWP pajama party met the bride and groom, Brent & Trisha, the gracious hosts who invited us into their new home. Well they're finally making each other honest.

The tartriffic Jill Essbaum will at the wedding, as will my one-time loverboy Marcus and his wife. Marcus and I dated for two and a half years and we were in love, then we broke up and he went to Toronto for a day and bought himself a leather jacket and from there on his life drastically improved. He's a testament to the power of post-break-up makeovers.

Don't have time to look now, but somewhere I have a photograph of Marcus and me reading The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin for our Character Ideals in American History course. Marcus was a computer science major, but we took history and astronomy classes together -- and sometimes, it was so beautiful, but mainly it was really annoying.

Apparently this is what constitutes as father/son bonding in my house.

I guess I'm the poor lady trying to bake a cake with the fart eggs.

I both love and am freaked out by this one

Press Press Press

If you haven't added Press Press Press to your RSS feed, you should. It's a blog-shop for small poetry presses & journals. Impress your friends with your up-to-datedness of small press happenings and kickass book collection.

Swiped from Shanna's Blog (and expanded)

A list and links to poets taking part in NaPoWriMo:

Maureen Thorson (@ a special blog) & friends
Ivy Alvarez (who offers these cute blog buttons)
Ada Limon & Jennifer L. Knox
Reb Livingston
Jennifer Bartlett
Elisa Gabbert & Kathy Rooney
Jen Tynes
Robin Reagler (not at her usual place)
Michelle Detorie
Sharon Mesmer
Kirsten Kaschock
& a buncha LiveJournalers here, including Tiffany Noonan & Josh Hanson, among others!
Kasey Mohammad
Anne Boyer (not at her usual place)
Mel Nichols (ditto)
Laurel Snyder
Suzanne Frischkorn
Jessica Rowan
Nate Logan
Ian Keenan
Kaya Oakes
Janet Holmes
Mike Young
Anne Haines
Vicky, a.k.a. vmh
Julie Carter
Sandra Beasley
Sarah Bartlett & Chris Tonelli
Ginger Heatter
Michael Gushue
Steve Roberts
Pussipost
Shann Palmer
Michelle Fierro

Call for Submissions

Night Train Magazine has re-invented itself as an online publication and is now including poetry.

They're accepting submissions.

This Week at No Tell

Leigh Stein has searched for his scar along your neck this week at No Tell Motel.

Tool, Issue 8

Just got home and am still working on today's poem -- but it appears the latest issue of Tool A Magazine is up -- with poems by Michael Peters, Tracy McTague and Brendan Lorber, K. Silem Mohammad, Shanna Compton and yours truly. Those poems I worked on for more than a day.

Come around later tonight for the rough stuff!